Good Riddance

After over a week of not seeing South Africa due to birthday celebrations, I thought that I ought to see him at some point (especially since he'd given me a birthday pressie... moving too fast anyone???). We arranged that I would drive up and see him and sort out further plans from there. I had also been invited to go surfing the same day which I was expecting to be in the morning so when I heard that the plan was to go in the afternoon, I had to decline. I should probably have taken it as a sign that I would rather have gone surfing... but I went ahead with the 'date' anyway.

When I got there, South Africa was not in the best way after a rather late night. Still, we went upstairs and you don't need details! We then had lunch with his parents. His mum is a great cook but a little full on crazy! After lunch, we chatted about what we might do with the afternoon- watch a film, go for a walk on the beach, do something! We didn't really come to any decision but went upstairs and lay down chatting away. South Africa then says to me 'do you mind if I have catch 20mins sleep'. No worries, you go to sleep, I'll have a bit of a lie down and watch a bit of T.V. Not how I'd usually spend a dya off but hey ho. Over an hour later I had dozed off a little out of sheer boredom. I checked my phone to seee the time- 5:30pm- and got up saying I was going to head home. I got very little response and once I'd sorted my stuff out let him know again that I was leaving and started to head out of the door. It was only at this point that he said he would walk me to the door- no questions about why I was leaving and no effort to keep me there. Seriously! I do not have time for someone who doesn't want to fight for me so left feeling pretty angry. I got a phone call as I was driving home to apologise and had excuse after excuse thrown at me- he thought maybe I had to be home for something, he was hungover and not in the mood, blah blah bull shit! I gave him the option- Did he want me to come back or should I go home? From this I got no straight answer so said I was going to go home and wouldn't be coming back. Since this got a similarly non-commital response I drove off with absolutely no regrets. Clearly we are never going to work. That's the thing with online dating though- it's always going to be difficult to find someone who is right for you because there is, in many cases, going to be so little common ground.

I had one more message from him the following day which was a kind of apology but also a whole load of excuses which only served to piss me off even more! So, it's goodbye South Africa and onto the next challenge!!

Jen xx

Surprise!!

It was my birthday a few weeks ago (11th July) and Mum had planned a weekend up in London for the family. She organised it months ago and told me that I just needed to make sure I had taken the weekend off from work and had someone to cover for me at the shop. With this all sorted, we drove up to London. Since Mum and I are pretty good at knowing what the other will like, I wasn't too aprehensive about the surprise she had planned and suspected that it was either a show or a concert. I did overhear a conversation with my brother at one point that confirmed that we would all be going to a concert. As usual during the summer season, there were plenty to choose from that weekend most of which I would enjoy so I was still fairly in the dark. We found where we were staying- a block of holiday apartments in which we were given an extra room because there was a 'maintenance issue' with the twin room my brother and I were supposed to be sharing- then went off for food. After food it was a taxi down the road to the gig venue. Still not knowing who we were going to see, I was actually pretty excited. As we got closer to the gates of Somerset House, it became a little tricky for it to stay a surprise so Mum handed me my ticket. It was to see Stornoway- cue blank faces from Dad, Paul and most others... They are amazing and I love them!!! They are a band from South London who are similar to Mumford and Sons in that they have a very folky influence. They're songs are a bit more mellow than Mumfords but they are definitely an equally talented bunch of blokes. Waiting for the gig to start there were so many instruments on stage that we wondered where anyone else was going to fit. This was Stornoway's biggest headline gig to date with just 3000 people filling the courtyard of Somerset house. It was a beautiful evening in a lovely setting and the music was amazing. I absolutely love seeing bands who know how to play the intruments that make good music and these guys certainly know how to do that! If you get chance, they are well worth checking out- especially their song 'Battery human'- love the song, love the lyrics!

Jen xx

Stoopid Liver

A few weeks ago, I took myself off to what felt like the millionth hospital appointment in a few weeks. This was an ultrasound so nothing invasive or painful but pretty informative. After lying down covered in goo for a while, the doctor informed me that my spleen was 24 cm. This meaning very little to me, she then told me that last time I had an ultrasound (about 18 months- 2 years ago) it was 16cm and was enlarged then. This sent me into a bit of a panic as it essentially means that my spleen is taking on far more of the liver's work than it ought to and than it used to. The ultra sound doctor couldn't really give me much more information about what this might mean in terms of treatment and so it's a case of 'wait and see' until I next see my consultant. Thankfully that's not too far off so I'll be more clued up. Until then, I will not think about it, will not worry about it and will do my best to look after myself. There's no point worrying about things you can't change!

Jen xx

just like buses!

After quite some time of being out of relationships and getting pretty much nothing by way of decent attention from men, it has all come along at once...

After the hilarious, disastrous date; there was the second date with 'South Africa'. We started chatting waaaay back in November, just before I went to Australia. As we got closer to Christmas, and to the stage at which we were going to meet, he told me he'd met someone blah blah blah so I did what any sensible girl does and deleted him from facebook. Which is why I was very surprised to find a message from him when I got home from Lanzarote. I was a bit unsure as to whether he intended our first meeting to be a date or a business meeting (he contacted me saying that he wanted to start up a business in the clothing industry and needed some advice). After a bit more conversation, I figured that it was definitely a date and that his business plan was just a way of getting conversation started again.

Back to the point. Saturday night was disastrous date, Sunday was a day with South Africa. We get on pretty well and I really enjoy spending time with him so have carried on seeing him. It does seem to be flying into 'relationship' status though which is a little bit scary. Whilst at his with his best mate, he referred to me as his girlfriend. I let it pass (don't want to appear crazy), but having been single for such a long time, the idea of actually being someone's girlfriend is a little bit daunting. It also doesn't help that whilst the guy is attractive and we have fun together (lot's of fun!), I still have 'sailor boy' in the back of my mind. There was just something about the very small amount of time we spent together that has kept me thinking about him. To me, this just shows that even though I have a great time with 'South Africa', I don't want to be his girlfriend. There is something missing that means that I don't want a relationship with him. Mum reckons that maybe I need to get to know him better before I make any decisions and that I shouldn't let 'sailor boy' affect the decision I make.

But the story doesn't end there... It was my birthday on Monday (thanks for all the messages!) and on Friday night I went out celebrating with the holiday girls. We had a great night oggling the band in uniform in Annabels and also had a few of our much loved 'confession times'. This led to me sending sailor boy a would be drunken message at some stupid hour of the morning to let him know I would be in London over the weekend. As expected, I had no reply despite checking my phone every 30 seconds whilst in London 'just in case'. I wasn't expecting to hear back at all which is why, when I checked fb on my phone for the last time before I went to the land of nod last night and saw the 1 new message sign, the last person I was expecting it to be from was 'sailor boy'. But there it was. 1 new message from sailor boy. Not only that but the response was very positive. I'll be back in London in a few weeks time for work and possibly even the week before for the Vintage festival so watch this space.

In the meantime, I'm going to have to be very careful with South Africa who, having only known me for a few weeks, got me a birthday present and calls and texts frequently... eeek!! gonna have to back this one up a bit and any advice on how the kindest way to do this is would be very much appreciated!!

xx

The oldest trick in the book...

After a few knock backs in the the real world of attempting relationships, I decided to make a bit more of an effort in the cyber world of dating and have been regularly checking my accounts and messaging a few potentials.

Last weekend I ended up on a pretty successful date with a definite potential. More on that later maybe, but the one I really want to indulge you in is Saturday nights little meet up. This guy has been making an attempt to meet up with me for quite a few months now but I'm a very busy girl and don't have a lot of free time. Whilst at a rather disatrous open mic last Sunday night, I arranged to meet up on Friday night. Then cancelled because I had a work event so rearranged for Thursday night, then cancelled because I was playing in a concert for my primary school. This cancelling and rearranging had happened a number of times prior to this so the guy was pretty persistent and undettered. We finally agreed on Saturday evening so once I'd finished work, I went home to get ready. I may be in the minority here but I figured that going to meet someone from an internet dating site probably counts as a date and a date requires a little bit of effort to be made in the appearance department. I am aware that I spend every day in a clothing shop and make quite a bit of effort for work. I also take pride in my appearance and like to make an effort if I am leaving the house for anything other than running down the road to get some milk or walking the dogs. Some people may even go so far as to say that I overdress a lot of the time. As I had no idea what to expect from this date, I went with a fairly standard outfit that could go anywhere. I definitely looked presentable and expected the same from my date. I was pretty shocked to say the least when I clocked the guy I was meeting and he looked like he was heading to the beach. I understand that it was a hot day, but still! If you're heading to the beach, fine, look like you're heading to the beach. If you're going on a date that you evidently wanted to go on judging by the persistance, make an effort!!! Anyway, not wanting to judge entirely on choice of clothing, we went for a little walk and starting chatting. Awkwardly. Again, I don't want to be too judgemental or snooty but I'm quite an intelligent person and I work hard at my job. I may not always have worked hard academically but I was one of those people that got by with reasonable grades without putting in too much effort. He was a 'couldn't be bothered' type and made that clear. I don't tend to get on with that type of person to be honest. We stopped to get a drink and look out over Plymouth Sound which is actually a lovely place to be on a summer evening. As he went to get the drinks, I sent a quick text to mum: 'how do I escape a date?' and half way through my drink, got a phone call from Mum who had hurt her ankle gardening and since Dad was away and my brother was out, she needed me to take her to A&E. Oldest trick in the book. Initially I think I got away with it. I even managed to convince myself at one point that I was worried about my poor crippled Mum! It was probably around the seriously awkward goodbye that he worked out that this was a get out clause but I'm never going to see him again and have no connection to him at all so I'm not really fussed about what he thinks. Would it have been fairer to say to him, you're short, unattractive, boring and need to make more effort and I don't want to spend any more time with you? Or should I have left whilst he was getting the drinks? I think I'll stick with being rescued by Mum (again- best Mum in the world!)

Xx